


It's Not Like I Missed You

by Mysteryreview



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Post-Illuminati Arc, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 01:54:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4245090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysteryreview/pseuds/Mysteryreview
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Even you trust the son of Satan more than me, huh?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Wow.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Not Like I Missed You

**Author's Note:**

> This was a labor of love, so I hope you all enjoy it~

“It’s important for all of them to trust you again.”

“I know. Believe me, I’ve convinced them to accept-”

“They may have postponed their judgements for now, but they do not trust you anymore. All of them collectively have yet to do even that much. ”

“Ah, that seems to be the case doesn’t it…”

“It’s your responsibility alone to make sure you regain that position. Other than the black flames you control, you are nothing special to us.”

“I’m actively piecing our relationships back together. At least into a neutral standing until I’ve proven myself again.”

“Do you think it will be possible?” 

“Yes. I know them all well enough. If my charm doesn’t get to them first, I can persuade them with our history!”

“For your sake, you had better.”  


\-------------

A morning run was supposed to keep him in top shape. Mentally and physically, it was the better option than just sitting on his ass all morning waiting for instructions for his next mission. Even though he was tempted to skip it after the exhausting fight to rescue Izumo, he knew he couldn’t let himself start slacking now. He could develop bad habits.

“Bon! Yooo!”

He grimaced. Bon had been listening to this pink idiot ramble on about some pointless endeavor or another ever since his return. Shima had been gung-ho about getting up at the same time as his morning routine. Up, run, shower, study. For some reason the absolute moron couldn’t take the hint that he just wanted to be left alone to think. 

How could Shima go on talking to him as if nothing had happened? It was always the same every morning run. ‘So how’s your pops doin’?’ ‘Didja miss me? Looks like you did! By the way, thanks for vouching for me!’ ‘Yesterday Izumo ignored me again like she usually does, it was amazing! Just like old times!’ 

Bon started running slightly faster.

“Aw man, not again!” Shima relented, crossing his arms and shivering at the brisk morning air. He kept smiling regardless. “Do you know how hard it is to keep up with you when you _aren’t_ trying to avoid me? Hold up a sec!” He managed to get close enough to get a weak grip on Bon’s shoulder.

Shima could hear a hefty “tch” between the sound of Bon’s heavy breath as he powered forward, shaking him off and turning up the music of his mp3 player. He refused to slow. If anything, Bon had been having better workouts since Shima started joining him on his morning runs. He was thankful for that in some twisted way.

“Com’on Bon! You’re the only one I can talk to about this stuff! Other than Mephisto… He’s cool but y’know, he kinda gives me the creeps sometimes,” There was a heavy panting between words, exercise taking its toll. Bon noticed Shima’s eyes go wide as he looked around cautiously over his shoulder. “Unless of course he’s got me wired right now! Then in that case, I mean, of course I’m joking! You are a fabulous mentor! And so suave, Sir! I have much to learn from you, great one, haha!” He attempted a bow similar to one Mephisto would, lowering an invisible hat from his head. Running made that action look impossibly crude as he stumbled, flailing to regain his balance on the brick ground. “I tried talking to Koneko, but he doesn’t really understand yet. He says he forgives me though, so that’s enough for now. I’d like to talk to someone who’s not a demon too! And Izumo won’t give me the time of day, so that really leaves you...” 

‘That’s it.’ 

With an abrupt skid of his foot, Suguro swerved and planted the other firmly, looking over his shoulder in time for Shima to collide hard into his back. It was enough to knock some wind out of Bon for a moment, but that went barely noticed as Shima backpedaled from the rebound to land squarely on his ass. 

“Agh! Damn…” he hissed, gingerly stumbling back to his feet, “A little warning next… time...?”

Bon was towering over him with a serious, calculating look on his face. He didn’t look angry so much as annoyed and confused, but those eyes were deadly, and they were silently judging him. He gripped the front of Shima’s shirt and roughly yanked him up to a straight standing position.

“What the hell kind of game are you playing?” Bon said plainly, getting right to the fact that there was some huge invisible animal in the room. He loosened his hold, and waited as Renzou calmly stepped back and patted the dirt off his pants.

“Yikes. Still miffed? I thought I explained everything already.” Shima shrugged trying to play off the question. Not the smartest tactic.

“Then explain it again, because I really don’t get it. I don’t get _you_. I don’t get any of this!” He gestured toward the other. “Who the hell are you, Shima? Or who the hell do you _think_ you are?”

“I’m a spy!” He threw his hands up, beaming. “I love the independence!”

Bon’s face didn’t falter, obviously unsatisfied, so he went on. “I remember when I was a kid, sitting in class, our parents and my brothers and you and Konekomaru walking to and from school with me every day. The same old thing, every single day. I remember thinking at one point, ‘Is this it? This is what I have to do for the rest of my life?’ And I remember that one day Mephisto asked me to work for him, to be a spy and live a life undefined by anyone else’s boring standard. How could I say no? It’s so much more exciting! I have all the freedom I’ve ever wanted!” 

“At the cost of your friends and family?” Bon furrowed his brows, looking like he’d tasted something bitter. “What you did was disgusting, putting Izumo through that trauma, torturing her, letting her watch her mother suffer.” Bon moved in close to his face and pointed accusingly. “You really think living so dangerously is more fulfilling than being with people that care about you and want you to be happy? You really want to be a part of that? How many other people have you done this to?!”

“Rude. I was following orders.” Shima grabbed his wrist and wrenched it aside, still looking pleased with himself. “I was ultimately helping all of you. You can’t deny that Bon. It was all necessary. And I’ve made plenty of friends, haven’t I? My friends here! Or…?” Shima’s smile disappeared in an instant, turning flat and cold. “Does no one care about me anymore, now that they know?”

After a brief pause, Bon looked away. “Obviously we do, dumbass. You wouldn’t still be here if no one did.”

There was an uncomfortable silence as they stood still, unsure of where to carry on their thoughts. The chill of the wind ruffled their cloths and hair, stirring a shiver in them. That was enough of a movement to spur them on.

“Well, that’s a relief!” Shima smiled and rubbed the back of his head, familiar attitude returning, but the atmosphere stayed relatively the same.

Bon brought one earbud back into one side and turned around. He picked up a jog again, but this time at a pace anyone could keep up with. It was enough to ease a bit of the tension as Shima picked up his feet to match him.

“I still don’t trust you.” He finally replied after a few minutes.

“Oh com’on Bon! What a one-track mind. Everything has always been so black and white with you. Everyone can forgive the son of Satan, someone directly linked to all the deaths and evil close to us, but not your ol’ buddy, Shima? I figured it would take a while but geeze, I’m trying here…”

“Rin didn’t decide to be the son of Satan, Shima. He makes that annoyingly clear any chance he gets. But you chose that lifestyle for some god forsaken reason. You brought this suspicion on yourself so you can’t blame me. It’s like I don’t know you. If you could keep this a secret from us all this time, what the hell else have you been hiding? How can I trust you anymore? Did I even know you to begin with?”

“Who knows… Sorry...”

“I won’t lose any more of my family.” He glanced over at him, which didn’t go unnoticed. “And I don’t like people who treat others like they are disposable or pieces of a game. Especially when it’s you.”

“Even you trust the son of Satan more than me, huh?”

“Yes.”

“Wow.” 

Not another word was uttered between them until Bon finally reached the end of his route. It felt as if some kind of unspoken agreement had been made. Suguro, for what he came to settle on, would pass his judgement on Shima over as much time as it required him to come to a decision. That meant a lot of talking. And a lot of watching. For now, he supposed he could enjoy watching his… friend… suffer through his soon-to-be _extra rigorous_ morning workouts. Somehow the idea gave him immense satisfaction. Bon decided he’d only listen to him during this time in his routine.

“You’ll give up.” Bon breathed before taking a big gulp of water from his bottle.

“Nope! I’ll keep running with you until you trust me,” The other panted like he’d run a marathon. “I’ll win you over, Bon! You’ll see!” He reassured, making sure to aim a flashy wink in his direction, not unlike the ones he aimed at every pretty girl that crossed his path. 

“Don’t say that.” He made a disgusted face. “It sounds gross.” Looked like spying wasn’t the only thing he picked up from Mephisto. The thought sent a shiver up his back.

Shima watched the water trickle down his chin, eyes going wide and mouth suddenly extremely dry, now that he was conscious of it. “Can I uh, get a sip of that?” 

Bon took pity and unceremoniously tossed the bottle at him. “You’re pathetic.”

“Heh sure am, buddy!” He bounced up, taking a good swig, “Mm, tastes funny…” he noted, then brought it to eye level and looked at the contents. “Bleh! There’s stuff in the water! Did you get your spit in it?”

“Probably? I eat an energy bar when I run. What did you expect? Bring your own water next time!”

Shima examined the remaining water in the bottle and wrinkled his nose. “Groooss… Backwash? It tastes like I made out with you or somethin’...”

“What- the hell-?!” His face flared red, volume of his voice rising with each word. “Shima get the fuck out of here before I change my mind about even attempting to forgive you. Now!”

“Okay, okay!” He placed the bottle on the ground and stepped away with his arms up defensively. Bon picked it back up and finished what was left of the water. As Shima turned his back he stuck a hand in his pocket and laughed to himself, raising suspicion from Bon.

“What’s so funny?” Suguro growled with warning. He shifted his weight between his legs and crossed his arms as he glared holes through Shima’s back.

”Say,” Shima snickered through the palm of his other hand and looked over his shoulder mischieviously, “Was that your first indirect kiss? Oh, what an honor! See, we’re getting closer already!”

“GET OUT OF HERE!” Bon proceeded to yank a shoe off his foot and throw it in the direction of a retreating Renzou. It barely missed. That was possibly the fastest he’d ever seen Shima run in all of those past few days. Or in his lifetime. And now he was standing there looking like an idiot who forgot to put on both running shoes before leaving the house.

“See you tomorrow morning, haha!” Shima’s playful voice echoed under the bridges as he ran out of sight.

The fuck was wrong with that boy? _What the actual **fuck** was wrong with him?_

 

 

\-------------

 

 

Bon's license to bare arms was only recently earned. The bazooka had been fairly useful for its first time on the field, just not in the way he intended to break it in. Suguro, well, he wasn't exactly trigger happy, (that would probably be a red flag to the True Cross from the get-go and handing out bazookas to inexperienced exwires with itchy fingers wouldn't be the best idea). After setting the goal for himself so long ago, now finally getting the go-ahead to use the weapon, he'd admit to getting a little impatient. The training area just wasn't much of a challenge anymore. White walls surrounding him strained his eyes after a while, and the air tended to feel stale. 

On a good day, he wouldn't miss a single target. By now he could judge the distance with an almost frightening precision. Off days, maybe he'd be off by a few feet. Today, however-

"Hey, _nice guns!_ " 

His shoulders jerked, making the missile wobble about twenty feet to the side of its target.

There he was. Leaning on a caddy full of boxes of ammo with that shit-eating grin.

Shima flinched at the daggers thrown from Bon's glare.

"Sorry! Sorry! Mercy!" He laughed nervously, and rightfully so.

That face was anything but sorry, but it was going to be. Later. Bon didn't feel like giving him any more satisfaction from successfully throwing him off. 

"You're still on thin ice, Spy."

"I know, _Mom_." He drawled like a child. "Sorry, though. I was just having a little fun." The dig irked him, but the familiar, casual tone diffused Bon's temper before it could flare.

"How did you get clearance to come into the firing facilities? You collecting data on me or somethin'?"

"I have it in with the big guy upstairs," Shima pointed up with his thumb. "He lets me wander, but I can't touch the weaponry, obviously. Yamantaka and I were sparing with some teachers down the hall anyway. We need a break."

"Hmph..." Suguro looked away with a heavy breath out his nose. It's not that he didn't enjoy the company, he supposed, and he did like showing off his big new toy. "You can stay if you shut up. Just don't stand directly behind me. It's dangerous."

Shima made a fluid zipper motion over his lips with his thumb and forefinger and stepped exaggeratedly to the side. Bon rolled his eyes and pulled out another missile from belt loop, letting it slide down into the gun barrel. With the heavy bazooka propped back on his shoulder, he aimed for one of the closer targets to give his new spectator the full effect of all his hard work.

On its way to hit the target, Bon signed with his hands, "On abogya beirojarou makabotara. Manihandoma jinbara harabaritara unbodhi!"

The explosion spread wide in front of them, bright and nearly three times their size around like a shield. Shima appeared stupefied, eyes widened and his mouth in an o. 

"Damn! Even more impressive up close! Looks like you finally accomplished your goal, huh?"

Guess the "no talking" rule already went straight out the window.

"Yeah."

"Y'know, a long time ago I was sure you'd snap like a twig, firing that thing." He mimicked the motion of breaking a small stick.

"That's why I trained. Did you think I was joking?" A flicker of irritation crossed his face.

"You bite too easily," Shima chuckled under his breath.

"The hell does that mean?" Bon's brow rose.

"Nothin'," he smiled with a syrupy tone.

Oh. He was just trying to get a rise out of him again.

Bon decided not to encourage whatever the hell he was thinking.

"Anyway, I've always wanted to be as useful to the team as possible. I can't slack on practicing." He turned back toward the targets, preparing another shot.

"Nope. I know." Shima crossed his arms, moving backward until he felt the wall, and leaned against it. "You really have gotten strong, though. Ah, but you've been pretty strong to begin with." He turned attention to cleaning under his fingernails, but his eyes wandered to broad shoulders, which had definitely become more shapely in all the time he'd known them.

"Thanks," Bon muttered, noticing the genuineness his voice. The sentiment almost tugged the corner of his mouth into a smile. Almost.

With a flippant hand and a familiar, natural expression, Shima motioned toward Bon to continue. "Hey, quit talking to me. I'm not supposed to be here." One side of his mouth quirked up as he re-zipped it shut.

'No you're not. You're supposed to be with the Illuminati right now...' Bon thought petulantly. Ugh, he really wished that wasn't gnawing at the back of his mind.

Heavy weaponry would distract him.

Without warning, he fired another missile.

"Naumaku sanmandabodananbarunayasowaka va! Bright Mirror of Still Water!"

Shima jumped at the impact and lurched an arm up over his eyes until they adjusted. An immense and beautiful disk of water spun out and refracted blinding light in a holy display. The boddess of the water spirit, the crystal pool of pristine water floating before them, it was an arresting visual. 

When it faded out again, Bon rubbed the strain from his eyes and turned proudly toward the rack holding the other weapons. He wiped sweat from his brow, taking care to pack them all up neat and proper as his teachers had instructed him many a time.

"Do you use that one in the morning when you style your hair?" He snickered as Bon leaned against the wall next to him. Bon didn't even look as he reflexively swung a loose fist into the side of Shima's arm.

Silence followed. A gradual build of quiet laughter built up between them into what Shima thought looked like a smile, out of the corner of his eye. No, impossible. That bull-headed guy? He must have been more exhausted than he thought. 

' _This_ is what the team missed,' Suguro mused. 'Not the absolute Tool at the research lab. _This_ idiot.'

"So... Yamantaka? That its name?" Bon prodded with a sigh.

"Yup." Shima nodded.

"What's up with that creepy thing?"

"Classified." Shima winked.

Bon clicked his tongue, frustrated.

"I still need to work on my endurance, though." Renzou offered instead. "He drains me quickly. I can only use him so often, but I didn't need to use his powers until recently."

"Why-?" Bon started, but was answered predictably. Shima put a finger up to his lips. Even he looked a bit annoyed at his sworn secrecy. "Right. Right..."

That was getting old very fast.

"Well, Yamantaka gets... antsy. He's always ready for a fight," he continued, idly tilting his staff back and forth in his hand, eyes following. "I know he's not satisfied with all these missions and endurance sessions, but I can't handle doing what he wants yet."

"Maybe because it's too much power for an idiot like you to control." 

"I've had this power for a long time, Bon. It was passed to me. Or are you jealous? Because it sure sounds like you are..." The pink boy's staff pointed under his chin. Even though he could tell it was a mock threat, recent events left him a little weary of anything near his throat.

"I have a familiar too," he smacked it away. "Karura. Why would I want that monstrosity?"

"Ah, then you're scared of him? Can't say I blame you!"

"You're pushing it," he narrowed his eyes. "And I have faith in my father's familiar, so I'm not worried about that."

"Mad?"

"...Fight me."

Shima blinked. " _That_ mad?"

"No. Spar with me. With Yamantaka."

"Why?" He turned toward Bon with a serious expression.

"Think of it as training, but part of me still wants to kick your ass around." 

Of course that was far from the end of his reasoning: 'I want to know why you were chosen. I want to know why everyone is bent on using you for their twisted plans. Why are you so important...?'

"I'm not sure how it'll help you," Shima shrugged. "And I really don't feel like fighting you, but if you're determined then I can't say no to a princess." He bowed with a hand over his heart.

That clinched it. 

"Yeah, I'm gonna kick your ass." Suguro decided. 

"Right now?" Shima rubbed the back of his head. 

Bon nodded decisively. "I'm still good to go."

"Well just so you know, I'm still a little exhausted from using Yamantaka earlier, so I'm not fighting at full capacity. I can't use him for longer than a few minutes, but we can spar, just the two of us. That doesn't mean it'll be easy though. Arias aren't as good at one-on-one combat so, maybe you should just put this off, huh?" he asked hopefully.

"That's fine. Tell him to leave when it's too much."

Shima nodded with defeat. "Okay then... if that's what you want. Yamantaka!"

Bon took a defensive stance.

"On! Girishu chiribikiri. Tadanouun sarabashadoro dashaya. Satanbaya satanbata. Zohatta sohatta sowaka!" 

The pitch-black demon burst forth from the flames that erupted from his body, itching to battle.

"Let's have fun with this one, alright?" Shima pointed his staff at Bon, dark flames dancing from its tip. 

" _ **Non-fatal combat again? Where is the fun in this?**_ " The towering wall of fire turned to stare judgingly into Bon's eyes, stirring something deep in his gut.

He wasn't lying when he mentioned the creature left him feeling unsettled. Vulnerable, even.

"Oh, plenty of fun! This is my dear friend. He'd love for you to remind him just how strong you are. Between you and me," he whispered loud enough for Bon to hear, "he works so very hard. I don't think he gets enough sleep."

Actually, they were both unsettling on their own. The pair of them together created something beyond that. Something he was determined to become more powerful than. Which was probably why this was the most stupid thing Bon had instigated in his lifetime. Rin's idiocy was slowly rubbing off on him, he decided, but dismissed immediately.

"Karura!" Bon chanted, summoning his phoenix in a small flourish of heat. It floated to his shoulder and perched, getting a good look at their opponents.

" _What is this you've called me for?_ " It inquired.

"I want to know all you can tell me about this demon. I won't ask you to fight for me. I don't want to risk it burning your soul." 

Bon felt a small shiver from the bird.

" _This is not my purpose, but I shall help as you wish. It is very powerful. We try to stay away from demons of such a higher class. In the wrong hands, he could bring great misfortune to human and demon alike. As I burn the physical, he burns the spiritual, and so we are complete opposites. That is all I know_."

'About what I figured.' he looked back to Shima, who seemed to be enamoured by something.

"I forgot how small Karura is! Is he joining the fight?" He called out.

"No. I want to fight you on my own. I'm not risking it. Thank you for your wisdom," Suguro nodded at the phoenix, who did the same before evaporating into the air once again.

"That's for the best. Should we get started then? I can't keep him out much longer."

"Let's go!" Bon yelled across to the two.

"I only need you for a moment. Draw him in for me!" Renzou ordered the demon.

" ** _You are suppressing my abilities. Nonetheless I will comply!_** " It bellowed prior to charging away.

Before Suguro could begin uttering a syllable, a disk of black flame spun out like a razor toward him. He tumbled out of the way and planted his feet hard on the ground as fast as his body allowed. 

...And directly into a circle of flames.

"No!" As they closed in, Bon signed and chanted for a small protective demon barrier. As it formed, it expanded and pushed the flames away about a yard. He quickly weighed his options before lifting the barrier; One, he could stay at a distance and wait out Yamantaka to burn out the last of Shima's strength. Two, he could move in closer and expediate the process by attacking Shima directly, and deal with both of them at once, which seemed the lesser option.

A blur of pink began walking through the blackness licking the outside of the circle.

"Good job, Yamantaka," Renzou panted, completely drained. "You're dismissed!"

As soon as the demon disappeared, so too did the surrounding fire. Now without the demon preventing his breach, Renzou leaped forward in an open charge through the dome, staff aimed for his chest.

"Smart," Bon gritted through his teeth as he dodged. "I captured myself..."

"Seemed the quickest! Arias are predictable!" Shima swung again and again, the last just grazing the front of his legs.

When the staff came round again, he managed to catch it in his palm. Where Shima beat him in swiftness, Bon excelled in his knowledge and physical power. There was no way he could beat him one-on-one.

"Bastard," Suguro forced his weight forward to throw the other off balance and brought his free hand up in front to begin another verse.

"I... ugh... think I've reached my limit. Sorry, but fighting you is just too much work right now...!"

Renzou jerked back and to the side, throwing both Bon and his verse off. Bon tripped forward and released his grip on the staff. As he turned to grasp out for it, he was met with a sharp pierce between his ribs.

Renzou had thrown the staff across the distance between them, black arrow of the tip slicing clean through his chest and out between his shoulderblades. Dizziness fogged his mind. The bottom of the staff to the top was all there was between him and the ground, propping him up as he felt his body go numb and limp. He held onto the length of it until he felt it being forcefully pulled away.

As his legs buckled, an arm caught him below the shoulders. Bon's muscles refused any order to move, eyes lulled almost shut from exhaustion. To the naked eye, anyone would assume he had fallen asleep where he stood. In his daze, he could recognize the face of his opponent leaning in, closing space, too close, and gradually coming into focus. 

Remnants of black flames licked at Shima's body from Bon's wound, then dissipated. The other leaned in closer to the side of his face, the dampness of his sweat-flushed skin brushing his own.

"Don't think you're weak," breath stirred, hot on his ear from the low growl.

A hand pulled him up by his tie, afflicting a tight pang around his neck. The discomfort wasn't enough to distract from the moment something warm and chapped dragged against his lips.

Bon could feel ice running thick through his veins, nearly stopping his pulse.

"We all have a weakness to outgrow." The voice lamented.

Before he could process any further, Bon's vision went dark as he was lowered roughly to the hard ground.

 

\-------------

 

Light filtered through his eyelids, invading his semi-peaceful sleep. As soon as they blinked fully open to the brightness, a throbbing headache radiated across his forehead.

"Ugh," he groaned, throat crackling and sore. Bon pushed himself up from- oh, his bed? He rubbed his temples, feeling dizzy from sitting up too quickly. Slowly he turned his body toward his alarm clock, slinging his legs off the edge of the bed. He leaned forward and blinked the blurriness from his eyes.

_5:30 AM?_

How could that be? Suddenly aware of his surroundings, he halted to scan every corner of the room, just in case someone had been pulling an elaborate trick or illusion he didn't catch on to. When the results turned up empty, Bon's brain started busily putting together the pieces from last night, was slowly reminded of a fight, falling, a stab of pain, a blur of pink, warmth and-

Wait.

"Holy-" With a jerk he tossed his bedsheets to the side and stumbled to his dresser. He looked down and wrinkled his nose, realizing that he was already dressed for school. He fell asleep in his uniform? Bon pulled the wrinkled fabric of the shirt up to his nose and inhaled. It smelled like detergent and a slight tang of sweat, but overall still pretty clean. 

Bon didn't even bother straightening his tie as he glanced in the mirror. Fuck it, he at least looked presentable. Hands groomed hastily through unruly clumps of hair, straightening what shifted out of place in his sleep. 

_Do you use that one in the morning when you style your hair?_

A familiar voice rang in his head and stalled his routine, affirming his suspicions. Now with more to go off of last nights events, he determinedly threw his shoes on and bolted out the door.

How did he get back last night? _Who_ brought him there? His feet already knew the answer, and they directed him to the one room in the academy that housed such an asshole.

Bon pounded on the door longer than necessary, knuckles vibrating from hitting the surface.

" _Shima!_ " he bellowed sternly. Bon had already rolled up his sleeved, prepared to force a lot of answers out of him. He wasn't sure just how thick of a skin the other had developed in his... line of work... but whatever he faced on a daily basis currently paled in comparison to Bon's mountainous presence come to reprimand his ass.

There was a muted sound of fumbling and a hard fall.

"Um, h-hello?" The muffled voice quivering behind the barrier reminded him that this wasn't only Shima's room.

"Ah dammit," Suguro slumped over, fury instantly dowsed. He dragged a hand over his face and straightened his posture. "Sorry Koneko, It's Bon. I'm looking for Shima. Guessing he's either not there or he's hiding and I have to come in an' drag his sorry ass out," he pointedly raised his voice at the end to make sure it was audible to anyone in the room.

The doorknob creaked as the smaller boy peeked out to confirm his friend's presence, then swung the door fully open.

"Oh! Good morning," he chirped, brightening. Bon quirked an eyebrow up at his friend. He was clad in patterned cotton pajamas. 

"Sleepin' in?" He crossed his arms, amused. 

The smaller boy laughed drowsily. "This is only sleeping in on your schedule, Bon. Well, Shima kept me up pretty late with his packing too, so I didn't get much sleep to begin with."

Bon's stomach plummeted.

_Packing?_

Konekomaru squinted as he rubbed smudges off his glasses onto the loose fabric of his pants, then adjusted them back on his nose. 

"Anyway, we already said goodbye. He left a while ago to take care of some last minute chores. Said Mephisto was sending him out for a short mission and that he already told everyone about it... Uh, didn't he?" Miwa questioned, noticing the other's eyes widening with a realization unbeknownst to him.

"Shit. _Shit_ ," he hissed to himself. "Not again." 

Without delay, Bon pushed his weight from the doorframe to get a head start down the corridor. 

"I'll catch up with you later," he called out over his shoulder without slowing.

"Bon!" Konekomaru watched with concern as Bon rushed away and turned a sharp corner out of sight, feeling as if he'd missed an entirely different conversation.

\---

_'Short mission my ass_ ,' Bon's steps fell heavy on the ground as he ran. He knew damn well that this was another dangerous job, but couldn't understand why his best friend didn't have the balls to tell him. Well, it was definitely more complicated than that right now, but finding Shima took precedence over everything.

He slid around the corners of the halls, poking his head in and out of each classroom, apologizing for interrupting teachers' sermons and getting progressively more frustrated.

It wasn't until he passed by a narrow hallway of tall storage lockers that he noticed Renzou crouched in the corner, quietly packing up miscellaneous supplies. A strange mix of relief and rage washed over him.

" _ **You-!**_ " Bon's heated voice echoed against the metal, successfully startling Shima. Bon watched, enjoying the karma of the other hitting his head on the inside of the locker and yelping in an unmanly gasp. He put a hand over his chest and shifted his attention toward Bon, catching his breath.

"God, I think I choked." Shima laughed nervously, rubbing the sore spot. 

"Good."

"Come to say goodbye?" he asked doubtfully.

"Like _Hell_ ," Suguro growled. Shima nodded knowingly, devoid of expression, and turned back to his packing. "Like the nine circles of Hell I'll let you set a foot outside this school without getting an explanation."

"Good thing I've already got a spot reserved in the ninth circle, huh? Everyone made that pretty clear," he laughed again morbidly and reached over to pat Bon's shoulder. "I don't think you'll ever fully trust me again, and that's fine. Heh, I'm not really giving you a reason to, am I? I'm happy just knowing you've let me stick around. That's enough." he said simply, smile obviously forced. "Sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving, but I've gotta get going."

No, Bon wasn't going to let him play this off. When Shima made to walk past him, Bon drew a wince from the other with a fistfull of his hair in a vice grip. 

"Ah- Bo-!" His free hand shoved Renzou against a locker, bumping a short breath out of his lungs.

"Don't pull that stoic shit with me!" His blood pumped furiously as Shima pathetically brought his hands up over his face. Bon clenched his teeth and slammed a fist an inch from his head. The metallic sound rang in their ears.

"Bon, cm'on, I really have to go-!"

"Coward! How can you face the Illuminati if y'can't even face me? The first time you left you-!"

There was a lot more concern in his voice than he would have liked, and Shima slowly lowered his hands, staring with interest.

"I thought... you hated us! I thought you could die! I thought I had done something!" Bon angrily motioned to himself to accentuate the point. His eyes burned through him, as if waiting for some kind of explanation, but Shima didn't quite follow. He thought he had explained enough why he said what he did back then. It was just an act. Almost fun and games for him.

Shima felt a cold sweat wash over him. After picking through his words carefully, there was only one response he could muster.

"I know, but I- I don't." he attempted to sound consoling, though he was more concerned with self-preservation presently, but the waver in his answer proved otherwise.

" _Fuckin' obviously!_ " Bon shoved him childishly for good measure and jerked away with a hard stomp of his foot. Shima flinched from the tremor that crawled up his body.

This was about more than the illuminati.

Bon turned, running his fingers roughly through his hair in frustration. Shima followed suit, at a loss. Had Bon not been unconscious when he-? 

Shima couldn't tell where this was going. Should he just leave? Was he about to get pummelled? Despite all the pushing and shoving, Bon wasn't actually hurting him. Regardless, his fight or flight sense was telling him this was the opportune moment to escape. Even if it left things open-ended, even if it meant damaging his friendship to a point where it couldn't be fixed, _just get out of there because this is uncomfortable and awkward as hell_. But his feet were cemented in place.

There was just no way Bon could say it, how much he hated Shima's "job", all the mistrust and uncertainty, how absolutely shitty it felt to think that someone he considered family had betrayed him.

Even now that was up in the air and Bon _hated_ it. There was no way to tell if this was still a big game. Why did he hate it so much? Why did this bother him so much?

He hated it. 

_He hated it because..._

Bon turned and pushed Renzou back against the wall by his shoulders, albeit a bit gentler this time, and wasn't met with a struggle. Bon leveled his stare with Shima's.

"Last night... What was that?" he asked seriously, voice deep and rumbling.

"Our sparring match? You still angry I won-?"

"After that."

Shima's eyes moved around, dodging Bon's in thought. "Oh. Right... Well, the black flames knocked you out cold," he laughed in what wouldn't have sounded forced if Bon didn't have him pegged at the moment. "I went to a teacher and the nurse took you back to your room. I was weak, myself, so I couldn't-"

" _Before that!_ " Bon snapped impatiently. "Quit dragging me in a circle and tell me what the _fuck_ is going on!"

It wasn't until he watched Renzou's expression slowly harden, flamboyant gestures all but dropped, pupils dilated, that Bon noticed just how close their proximity had become. Shima looked away and tugged at the collar of his shirt with a cough. He grimaced and swallowed hard, closing his eyes.

Cornered.

"Nothing."

"Bullshit."

"Nothing! It-" he caught himself before his voice grew any louder or drew attention from anyone nearby. "-was what it was. Forget it."

Bon's mind faltered at the very idea being presented here, one he was desperately trying to prove false.

"What?! Then why did you do it?" It sounded like a command more than a question. "What kind of sick joke are you pulling?"

"I'm not-! Ugh, you thick-headed jackass! You think I would have done it if I knew you were conscious?!"

The vice on Shima's shoulders tightened imperceptibly, then slowly loosened, hands sliding off his shoulders.

"This isn't just about you," he continued tersely, looking anywhere but him. "I have a lot of shit to deal with. It's a hell of a lot bigger than any of us. And I had to kind of... get that out of my system." The admittance came out sounding a little guiltier than intended.

"Your system...?" Bon leaned back, face twisted into something between confusion and disgust. "What, you're just frustrated so you're using me to-?"

"I can't get attached," Shima interrupted sternly. He pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling a shaky breath, then quickly slung up the long forgotten bag of essentials over his shoulder. He paused to let out a longer, steady sigh, and with it, most of his fight. Shima donned a weakened version of his usual smile. "You're so damn quick to look for the worst in everything. This went about the way I thought it would, but I might not be lucky enough to come back next time, so... who cares, right?" he shrugged bitterly.

"No. Wait, don't fucking say that."

"Your opinion has always mattered the most to me, you know," Renzou uttered quietly over his shoulder. "So... Yeah. Sorry I disappointed you."

This didn't sit right. It felt all wrong. This wasn't why he confronted Shima. He wanted answers, not to drive him away. He knew he couldn't but he... wanted to help. 

As Bon watched his back retreating, something urgent clicked. 

A surge pulled Renzou like whiplash into a spine-breaking hug, one that Shima had still not gotten used to.

"Ugh! Wha-?! Let- me- go-!" 

After a moment struggling out of the crushing grapple, Shima reflexively pulled him by his sleeve to turn him around and switch their positions. His hidden technical skill emerged as his arm shot up to Bon's chest and forced him hard against a locker. 

"Get a _FUCKING GRIP_." Shima yelled. His eyes were wild and panicked. His face to the tips of his ears and down his neck flooded a darker shade of red than his hair. It radiated a heat that felt like as if it were burning right off his bones, for a multitude of reasons. Bon looked down at him surprised, but unperturbed and more convinced of his suspicions than before.

His whole facade was useless now. With reluctant defeat, Shima lowered his head and quietly stepped away, clenching his fists at his sides.

After a moment of hesitation, Bon mirrored his slow paces, walking toward him as he stepped away as if magnetized. 

A tentative hand rose to the side of Shima's face, then slid gently across the skin of Renzou's neck, making the pink hairs on his head stand on end. Shima locked eyes with him expectantly, mouth falling slack at the development.

"Tch..." Bon furiously tried to make sense of it all. By then his face was radiating red with heat. His mouth would open and close with no result of coherent words. Shima waited on tenterhooks, feeling the hold at the nape of his neck alternate between a firm grip and gentle fingers rubbing against the grain of the short hairs. Bon's heart lodged itself in his throat, hardly able to swallow. He wasn't sure where to look, and his gaze kept darting to similarly apprehensive eyes and down at what little space remained between them.

"Suguro?" Shima questioned cautiously and brought a hand up to clench the other's jacket sleeve, debating whether or not to yank it away. When Bon felt an exhale of bated breath against his lips, the last of his sense was thrown to the hills. Before he could stop himself, he collided their mouths in a clumsy display that was anything but romantic. Their noses bumped and the kiss was too hard, but there was a complicated balance of desperation and years of familiarity sewn in, and once they were touching neither one could pull apart because it was just _too stimulating_.

This intimacy was something new and long overdue somehow, and they both had a lot to say without saying anything. Without thinking, he was holding Shima too tight against him, forbidding him to break away. Bon's mind wouldn't shut up through the kiss. It was racing in real time as their bodies adjusted against each other and he couldn't keep up with his own actions. Hands didn't know where to rest, feet couldn't find their place and shifted without settling. No matter how they approached this, it was awkward. It showed on Bon's face how he couldn't help himself from questioning every second and every vexing, unmentionable, satisfied thought that flashed through his head that made him damn himself. 

After the initial shock wore off, Bon began to notice the actual sensations. 

_This is... He's... Shit, he's..._

Characteristics crossed his mind that shouldn't be able to fit together the way they did with this particular person, above all, that this was his best fucking friend and it was _fucking bizarre_.

Shima wasn't fairing much better. He couldn't decide whether it was better to keep his eyes open or closed. The sight of Bon flush against him, the movement of his jaw as their mouths worked against the other, the flex of his muscles moving beneath his skin, it was devastating to his self control. When his eyes were closed the physical aftermath wasn't any less rousing.

It wasn't enough for Renzou any more. He grabbed a fistfull of Suguro's shirt and pulled him into another heavy kiss. Bon internally cursed the betraying sound of contentment that escaped his throat, especially when he could feel the subtly teasing smile turn up against his lips at the reaction. Damn, that guy was perceptive. The entire time Bon looked like he wanted to complain about something, _anything_ , if it meant distracting himself from what he was doing.

Suguro settled for pinning him against the wall with a leg propped between Shima's. Bon pressed the weight of his chest against Renzou's to apprehend his movements, gaining control. Suguro felt a great deal of satisfaction from the feathery gasp of surprise he drew out of Shima as his back hit the wall. Before Shima could release that breath or inevitable banter, Bon took his mouth with his own to trap it. There. That was the real person under his put-on exterior. He was starting to peel it away.

Somehow they managed to turn this into a competition, and neither one seemed too eager to lose.

Shima's hand ran up the length of his back, nails dragging through the thin fabric of his shirt. Fingertips worked their way beneath the damp, wrinkled fabric of his shirt. Renzou thumbed appreciatively at the firm muscle, trailing over every dip and curve and pausing to absently rub small circles into tense areas. Bon responded with sounds of interest to indicate the other had found something worth exploring, and Shima complied fervently. It almost felt as if Shima was searching for weaknesses, cracks in his foundation, and digging in to tear him down further. Bon's mouth and body went stiff, and Shima took the chance to release the stale air in his lungs.

"You really haven't- done this before..." Shima noted between breaths.

"You have?" he shot back, teeth scraping his lip with his words.

"Ah- I know," he confessed, knowing it was no secret, "but it makes me feel better." He bit Bon's lower lip in retaliation.

They alternated between confident assertion to backing off instantly. Both could sense the uncertainty in each other's movements, but something was keeping them from stopping altogether. As long as they didn't think too much about it, they could dabble into new territory. They continued dipping their feet in the water, testing a boundary, settling into it and pushing it further. Shima seemed to enjoy this the most, finding vulnerability like a switch and playing with it.

Hands roamed to the dips in their sides, lower backs and up to twine into tufts of dampened hair. Bon finally surfaced for a breath, or perhaps a mental break, and the other took the opportunity for a more open kiss. Bon made a muffled sound of surprise as Shima pulled at Bon's tie to close more distance, deepening it. Tongues spilled over into mouths, warm and full. Shima sucked at it lightly, eliciting a deep moan from his throat. 

Bon dug his nails into Renzou's hip, feeling a drag of lips down his own jawline up to his earrings. Renzou pulled a piercing between his teeth and fondled it with his tongue. The other visibly shivered, a puff of warm air in his ear sending a contrasting chill of raised bumps across the surface of his skin.

"Ryuji...?"

Bon froze as if the word itself had a hold on his spine. He made a face as if someone had insulted him, one usually reserved for when people made unwanted comments about his rebellious appearance on a daily basis. Who gave him permission to say his name? And that's when he realized he was losing this competition. The only way to win was to be better.

Bon tightened his hold on him to keep him in place. He leaned into the side of his face painfully slow, enough to see a bead of sweat trickle down his neck to his heaving chest as a free hand reached from the front to grab either side of Shima's jaw and tilt it hard to the side. 

"Yes? _Renzou?_ " He whispered below his ear as deliberately low and heavy as his range could muster. A hard swallow was Shima's only rejoinder.

Well, that seemed to backfire for both of them. 

Bon hissed through his teeth as what started as a soft kiss became a sharp pang sinking into the base of his shoulder. Shima pulled a bruise to the surface and traced the shape of his neck with the broad pressure of his tongue.

But at his angle, an extension of the other's throat became wide open for retaliation. Bon's hand snaked itself through his hair and pulled his head to the side to allow easy access to the crook. He ignored Shima's noise of protest and bit down slowly until Shima indicated discomfort, then worked at it. Bon matched his previous effort, leaving the area tender and taut with color. Shima found his footing again, eliciting a deep moan from Bon's throat. He seemed to enjoy this the most, finding Bon's vulnerability like a switch and playing with it. It became a bit too much for Bon when Renzou's thumb worried at the band of his pants and bowed it down to hook beneath the waist.

"S-Stop... Wait... Dammit _stop. Enough!_ " Bon crowbarred Shima off by roughly working his arm between them and prying him away with the leverage. "Too damn much. Just..." he kept him at arm's length, locking his grip at Shima's shoulders until he could think coherently.

"Owow Bon let go I stopped already...!" he winced with a hint of frustration, trapped between him and the locker. It felt as if the other's hold was only tightening more.

"Ugh sorry I-" Bon let Shima yank his hands off and allowed his arms fell to his sides. He propped himself up with a forearm beside Shima's face and leaned his head against it. "Jesus Christ..." he groaned.

"You're gunna blueball me..." Shima huffed with disbelief, curving his hips into Suguro's.

Bon pushed his palm against Shima's chest to lower them out of reach, accordingly. He was still, for lack of a better word, rather mortified with himself.

"Mhm." he nodded without hesitation, similarly winded both mentally and physically.

"Shit... I didn't know you could be this cruel." he panted as Suguro pressed his sweat-slicked forehead against his own. Shima's eyes were half-lidded, staring off at nothing as if still in the midst of processing what happened. "And you expect me to go out like this..."

"If you're pissed about it, tell me when you come back." Bon's pulse thrummed as he bore his narrowed gaze into Shima's, purposefully.  
Shima locked eyes with him, breath beginning to even out as his heart missed a beat. He could tell it was Bon's roundabout way of telling him to stay safe. However, that didn't excuse the state he was deliberately being left in.

"You sure you're not a demon?" Shima closed the distance for a light kiss. Bon reluctantly allowed that much.

"Do you really want to stick around long enough to find out?" Bon abruptly whacked the back of his head, snapping him out of his lustful stupor, and stepped away.

"Agh! And where am I supposed to take care of... this?" He motioned sheepishly to his now tight-fitting pants as if asking him to take responsibility. As if Bon didn't have the same predicament.

"I don't care. There's a bathroom that way." Bon retorted, unable to keep his eyes from wandering to the slacks in question and pointing over his shoulder.

"I might need help." Shima raised a suggestive brow as an invitation. Now he knew that was a lie.

"Want me to destroy you?" he threatened rhetorically.

Renzou bit back a devious smirk, glancing down at the closeness of the toned curve of Bon's hip bones to his own. "Please."

Bon's face instantaneously flooded crimson. 

"F-! _Fuck. Off._ " he sputtered.

"Aw come on, you walked into it," he shrugged without regret.

"You're disgusting."

Shima snickered, though he sounded fairly proud. Bon leaned his exhausted body against the wall next to him. Shima tilted his head back against a locker to speak to the ceiling. "I know. And you have no sympathy," he whined.

"Yes I do. Now I know how those poor girls feel every time you hit on them." Bon shook his head poignantly.

"So... you're saying they would do what you just did? That's reassuring."

Bon scrunched his face up, confronted by his own word choice. He braced himself against the imminent questions that would break the quiet. There was just too much to talk about, too much to touch upon, and no time.

"So what does this mean?" Shima reworded the unspoken question. It hung thick in the air as they both considered.

"It means go take care of that little problem of yours somewhere I won't hear you."

Shima inhaled with feigned offense. "If I leave now, those could be the last words you ever say to me, just so you know." The words tumbled out jokingly without much thought.

"They won't," Bon flared at the distasteful humor, causing the other to cringe.

"Right, right. Sorry," he ruffled the back of his hair.

Shima watched curiously as Bon fiddled with his own ear, pulling a stud from it. He took a rough hold of the collar of Shima's shirt in his fist and yanked it up to pin the earring through the fabric.

"Here," He released his collar, sending Shima teetering on the back of his heels. "Don't die. Or I'll kill you. That's my favorite one."

"Oh?" He looked down, regarding the metal diamond shape glinting in the corner of his sight. "That's romantic. Is this your version of a diamond ring?" He snickered.

"You know what," As quick as he'd put it on, he yanked it back off and put it back in, instead going in favor for a black, circular stud on his other side. He poked another unnecessary hole in Shima's shirt and pulled at it to make sure it stayed. "Second favorite. Still want it back, though, asshole." He flipped him off and attempted a threatening glare, but he was gnawing at his bottom lip in embarrassment, so it fell flat and ineffective.

"Nah, I think I'll hold onto it," he chuckled. Shima brought the metal up to his lips and kissed it with a teasing, hungry look and a wink that instantly set Bon's cheeks aflame. 

"You keep saying you're leaving and you don't. Stop fucking around and get out of here," Bon barked and crossed his arms in a juvenile motion. He looked away, locking up any inappropriate thoughts.

"Don't miss me too much." 

"Hmph..."

And Bon watched him wordlessly as he took his time to straighten up, brush himself off and spend a last couple of seconds to look in his direction. When he'd had his fill, he turned and walked out of sight in the direction of... yep, the bathroom. Bon snorted and shook his head, finally allowing himself to smile.

_Who would_ , he wanted to say, but he wouldn't fool anyone. Bon pulled absently at the newly empty space on his ear. 

He really had to work on that adamant pride of his.

**Author's Note:**

> For Marc <3
> 
> Thank you so much for reading.


End file.
